Three Seasons
by xSuiren
Summary: To bring about a new age of peace, she had willingly surrendered her life over to the Kai Empire. It had been the first and last act to ever bring him to his knees.


**Summary:** To bring about a new age of peace, she had willingly surrendered her life over to the Kai Empire. It had been the first and last act to ever bring him to his knees.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own _Akatsuki no Yona_. Mizuho Kusanagi retains rightful ownership of this title and its unconventional characters.

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 **Three Seasons**

 _Hak_

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 **01**

 _It's been three years._

He'd never once stopped counting.

Days would pass by, unsympathetic of his grief.

As he had done the previous years, he carried the purchased lantern to the bank of the lake. He would allow himself to falter only on this day – when the veil between the living and the dead was said to be at its weakest.

On this day, he would allow himself to hold onto irrational hope.

He tiredly pulled down the hood of his cloak and peered skyward as he set the lantern off, watching it ascend as he prayed his usual mantra to whatever gods were listening.

 _Just a glimpse will do._

A foolish, unheard wish.

* * *

 **02**

He wandered down the rough road, unsure of his destination but not willing to stay in a single place for too long.

Only two villages more until he reached the White Snake.

And yet, there was a part of him that didn't want to see him.

After _that event_ , they had all gone their separate ways. To see any of them now would mean for him to be reminded of her. She wouldn't be there to blush prettily at his teasing or smile affectionately at their playful banter… nor would she be there to keep them all together.

 _She's gone._

And so, he had avoided them… because time had done little to dull the hurt of that reminder.

* * *

 **03**

The Kai Empire had stolen her from them.

Recalling what had happened always made him clench his fists in anger and made his heart tremble in fear. He would never forget, for as long as he lived, how helpless he had felt at her execution.

 _She had ordered us to stand down. We had disobeyed… and yet we'd still failed._

Even with their combined strength, they had been unable to do a thing – because she had refused to be saved.

" _Kouka is my home. I won't see it burnt to the ground. Please… please keep an eye on them… and make sure that my sacrifice isn't in vain."_

To bring about a new age of peace, she had willingly surrendered herself over to the Kai Empire.

It had been the first and last act to ever bring him to his knees.

* * *

 **04**

He recalled a time when they were kids and he had been dragged along by her to sneak out of the castle to help pick out a gift for Soo-Won's seventh birthday.

"What do you think he'd like?" she had asked.

To which he'd answered with an indifferent shrug of the shoulders.

In the end, she had gotten him a tasselled charm to hang from the sash of his robes.

He had been envious of Soo-Won then… but now…

He covered the lapis lazuli around his neck with a hand and felt the most ridiculous urge to laugh.

 _I never thought I'd get this sentimental over a gift._

* * *

 **05**

They all stood at her grave – the small, peaceful quiet under the cool shade of the willow tree – keeping their silence, quietly reminiscing.

It wasn't the need to mourn that they had sought when they'd decided upon meeting up yearly to visit her. They had already grieved in their own way.

Even so, they yearned to speak to her; and the easiest way they could achieve that was by updating her on the state of Kouka. Perhaps it was their small way of assuring her – or rather, themselves – that her sacrifice hadn't been for naught.

He could picture her smiling happily as she listened with rapt attention.

 _The Fire Tribe's conditions are improving; I hear the Iza seeds have produced a particularly good harvest this year. Lili has been making big changes to the Water Tribe, setting up regulations and whatnot to be rid of the Nadai. Gramps is still as healthy as ever… Tae-Yeon's growing up… and—_

Unable to quite settle the sudden yearning in his heart, Hak closed his eyes.

— _and I miss you._

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 **06**

She had left behind something intangible and meaningful for everyone.

To Shin-Ah, his name; Kija, his independence; Zeno, a companionship, however brief; to Jae-Ha, the confidence to confront his past; and to Yoon, friendship.

But Hak wasn't satisfied… and for the longest time, he never would be. As he stood unmoving under the rain, he grabbed at his chest.

 _She left me without purpose and with bitterness in my heart._

His love for her was a burden.

It was heavy and old and tired and yet it had never waned in the passing of years.

 _It would be easier if it had._

He snorted. Sometimes, he wondered if perhaps she was patiently waiting for him just so she could scold him. It was a comforting thought… if equally worrying. He chuckled softly. _Though, it wouldn't surprise me if she were._ _After all, she was convinced that I would find my own happiness once she had released me from my duties._

The smile died from his lips and he lowered his eyes to the muddy ground as the rain beat heavily against his still form.

 _But you were all I ever needed, Princess._

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Completed on April 22, 2017. 855 words.

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 **This was intended as a small writing exercise to remedy my writer's block—as well as a farewell of sorts to my now-dead laptop—so I hadn't intended to publish it but since I** _ **still**_ **haven't finished with chapter 10 of Fleeting Chances, and I'm only vaguely sure as to when I'll have the time to do so, I figured I may as well produce** _ **something**_ **… even if it's wholly unrelated (because an entire year without a single update is a new record for me).**

 **Short update on my current situation: I've bought a new laptop since; writers' block is still a thing; I'm currently studying for exams; and I'm not impressed** _ **at all**_ **by my university trying to squeeze another semester into the year.**

 **Anyways, I'm not quite sure how well I've captured Hak's character in this but it was fun to write nonetheless.**

 **The title,** _ **Three Seasons**_ **, is taken from the (shortened) Chinese idiom** **「** **一日三秋** **」** **and** **translates to** **something like** _ **a day apart seems like three seasons**_ **. I intended for it to allude to how much Hak misses Yona; and quite coincidentally (because I had decided on the title very last minute), it also happens to be the same amount of years since Yona's passing.**

 **Hope it was an enjoyable read!**


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